Right By Yourself

I don’t have anything to add today.

My baby daughter woke up in her crib to a smiling mommy, with a camera phone in front of her face, for the 416^th day in a row.  She is much happier than I am in the morning, but she plants some of her happiness in me and I take it with me for the rest of the day.

My patient husband woke up and went to spin class with his mother, which made him happy.  And he still came home in time to help me get the baby ready and off to the sitter.  And that transferred some more happiness in me, for me to feed on for the rest of the day.

I kept both of those happinesses to myself, I don’t like to share my happiness at work.  I keep it safe and bottled up to enjoy only for myself.  Babies and husbands can make more happiness for me to leech, but I can’t make any of my own extra so I harbor it in my own head and heart until the work day is over.

I’m going to give some to my friends later, though, when I meet them in the forest by the river.  They can have some of my smile around a campfire.  By then, I might have something to add.

So, while I haven’t added anything YET today, I plan to. And that’s all that counts, sometimes.

Here Is Your Unsolicited Advice

Take this for what it's worth-- but I have tested this advice I'm about to give you and can tell you I'm 100% satisfied with the results.  Here's the story.

If you’ve been doing something that isn’t adding value to your life or your career, stop doing it.

For 5 years, I made the coffee in my office.  It was never part of my job description, none of my supervisors ever asked me to take on the responsibility, and I was never instructed to keep up with it.  But somewhere along the line, I decided to make the coffee.  Of my own volition and the kindness of my people-pleasing heart, anytime the coffee was emptied by another coworker who simply walked away, I would hop up from my desk and grind the beans, fill the filter, and brew the coffee. 

I Don’t.  Even.  Drink.  Coffee. Read that again.

One day this summer, someone in my office emptied BOTH coffee pots, and walked away.  On his way past my desk, he looked at me and said “Two dead soldiers over there…” and I hopped up from my desk (on auto-pilot) and made two pots of coffee.  Then I sat back down at my desk, appalled at what I had just done.  And that’s the last day I ever made coffee at my office.

No one had ever thanked me for making coffee, no one’s life had been drastically better for my efforts… perhaps the executives were slightly better served in the “convenience” department, but that’s about it.  I realized I’d been selflessly making coffee for an entire office, half of whom were at the very least ungrateful and at the worst were taking advantage of me.  There was no extra pay, there was no extra benefit, and there was no extra thanks.  And now, there was no extra fulfillment in it for me, because I noticed that it wasn’t even making people noticeably happier.  So I quit making the coffee. 

Know what happened?  Everything continued on exactly the same.  Nobody noticed that I didn’t make coffee anymore, nobody questioned me about it, and someone else stepped in and made the coffee when it was empty.   Life continued on for everyone, including me…. Except now my life is better because I don’t have to make the coffee.  I get to sit at my desk and not care if the coffee is empty.  Reminder: I don’t even drink coffee.

My advice to you?  Whatever your coffee is, stop doing it if it isn’t fulfilling you anymore.  Stop wasting your time and efforts.  It’s one thing to be kind to others, but it’s another to waste your energy on thankless tasks that are no longer bringing you joy.  Don’t cater to the needs of others at the expense of your own happiness.  I’m not saying to cut out all the kindness, you should always be kind, but for God’s sake, stop making the coffee.  I think you’ll find that your energy is better served nourishing yourself.  Let the coffee-drinkers make the coffee.

Winner Wednesday; Lernerville Fab Four 6/3/16

Oh hey, there, you…. 

 

Look at you, all classy and fancy and loving racing… I like that about you.  Thanks for coming over.

 

It’s Winner Wednesday!!!  Once again, I’ve conned a feature winner into “sitting down” with me for a quick interview.  I really like this project because it gives me the opportunity to make new connections as well as learn what’s going on inside the heads of the talented drivers who wheel it to Victory Lane.  And then, I get to share it with you.  :)

 

This week, I badgered AJ Flick until he said yes.  Okay it’s not true, there wasn’t any badgering, but I still feel weird asking these guys to take time out of their schedule to give me some feedback... truth be told half the interview was delayed due to him working on the car.  Anyway, without further delay and no more ado, here is AJ Flick:

 

Class: People’s Natural Gas-- #2 AJ Flick (11 career feature wins between street stock and sprint classes) 

How old are you?

23

 

How long have you been racing?

I raced karts from age 4 to 16.  Raced street stocks from 17-20.  Raced 410 sprints from 21 to present.

 

Who are your sponsors?

I have a ton.  Ferguson Heat and Air Conditioning, Coopers RV Center, Champion, Chenega Construction, Stanfords Glass Service, JD Byrider, Alternative Power Sources, Rheem, Showtime Designs, Townsend Gas and Oil, Smith Automotive, State Farm, My Place Bar and Grill, Deans Towing, Automotion, Fence by Maintenance Service, Ed Fish Machine Shop, Sevic Landscaping, Dr. Neff Eye Care Center, Star Autobody, Amato Financial Services, Brammell Excavating

 

What is your favorite color?

Blue

 

Who is your favorite fictional character?

I like Butters from South Park.  Hahahahaha Batman.  Garfield.  So many good ones!

 

Who is your hero?

My hero is definitely my father and grandfather.  People say I drive like my grandfather more than my father, but he passed away when I was 6 months old so I never got to see him race.  But my father has proven to be the smartest and hardest-working man I have ever met.  And without him, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

 

Now, if you ask my who my IDOL is, it’s Brian Birkhofer.

 

What else do you want the public at large to know?

Oh goodness.  I race, eat, sleep, and race again.  I graduated from Penn State with a degree in petroleum and natural gas engineering.

 

Favorite racing memory?

Winning my first stock car race.  First sprint car race.  Winning the sprint championship last year.  Winning on Dow’s tribute night—a bunch of memorable ones.

 

Any advice or wisdom you want to impart?  Something maybe to say to young racers who are coming up through?

A lot of young racers quit because they don’t have success the first year, or they put in weeks of work and don’t see improvement.  Well, racing isn’t an easy sport like some people think.  Keep working.  Keep grinding.  Keep building up your program.  And NEVER quit.  It may take some time, but you’ll get there.

 

 

 

So there you have it, the words of AJ Flick.  Last Friday was AJ’s second trip to VL in 2016.  While I haven’t known him long, I hope to have made a new friend in racing.  He seems like the kind of guy we all are: bit by the racing bug, and really hooked in.    Some people call us lifers, some people call us addicts…  

 

Anyway—whatever you’re doing, wherever you are, if the weather’s nice and you’re not already headed to the track this weekend, cancel your plans and go racing.

 

Talk to you all soon!

<3/ Lainey

What's Fabulous? FAB FOUR RACIN'

My plan after Charlotte last fall was to take the summer of 2016 off of racing. I figured it was probably time to let some young new chippy don the sash and prance around in victory lane. Let's face it-- there is no shortage of good lookin ladies in this world, and I think every single one who loves racing as much as I do should try and step in!

But last weekend, my Friday night opened up wide and I was offered the opportunity to visit one of my favorite PA tracks: Don Martin's Lernerville Speedway in Sarver. I could have passed it up, I could have left the sash at home, I could have left the dress on the hanger and the heels on the shoe rack... But I'm glad I didn't!

First of all-- I love the place. I love the atmosphere, I love the venue, I love the company. Second of all, I was afforded the opportunity to meet the new owners, the Tomson family-- who were, by the way, gracious, generous, and hilarious. Thirdly, I got to reconnect with the management there and those guys are not only top-notch in their program execution, they're friendly and warm and caring at the same time. 

Eric Westendorf, the public relations director, manned the mic as the announcer for the night. The presence of the late Dow Carnahan was missed, but Eric's tribal knowledge of the drivers made for a smooth transition, and he made for an informed race experience. 

I watched the heat races in the grandstands of turn 4, and watched the cushion grow and evolve on a heavy track. Gary's track crew really knows what they're doing out there, and it made for great racing all night.  

I transitioned from the grandstands to the tower and from jeans to a dress for the features. AJ flick took home his second feature win of the season for the PNG sprint division, after three red flags. Alex Ferree took the checkers for the Precise Racing Products late models. Mat Williamson was on top and brought home the trophy in the Diehl Automotive big block modified class, and Terry Young finished first in the Millerstown Pic-A-Part Sportsman division. 

There's something to be said for making new friends and keeping the old. I was silly to think I could stay away from dirt track racing this year-- it's in my blood. And the dirt was in my face, hair, and shoes on Friday night at Lernerville. 

Stay tuned-- gonna be hitting up the Lou Blaney memorial and the Don Martin Silver Cup this summer. So if you already have plans, CANCEL THEM-- we're going racing. :)

Xoxo

Lainey 

Alex Ferree 

Terry Young 

AJ Flick

Lemon Water

Here’s some shit.

 

I just argued with a guy at the other manufacturing plant that tomorrow, 4/22/2016, is Tuesday.  We argued for 15 minutes via email.  After I realized what had happened, I immediately said “Hey, Siri, am I going crazy?” (Cuz she's always listening now) and her reply was “I can’t say for sure…”

 

And that’s basically how I feel.  Just trying not to be lost.  I just looked around my desk and realized that I left my lemon water in the kitchen.  I was refilling it, and I noticed that the office coffee pot was empty, so I started making coffee.  

 

I don’t even drink coffee.

 

The reason I make the coffee from time to time is because the coffee machine is right outside my cubicle.  And when people arrive at the coffee, and there isn’t any, they make any variety of noises that range from guttural disgust to resigned sighing… and this brings me down or just annoys me.  So I make sure there is always coffee… that way people just arrive, get their coffee, and make no noises.  And somehow, in my little twisted way, I feel a little bit like the coffee fairy.  “Hey, have you noticed that we haven’t had to make coffee for like 3 months?  I wonder how that is happening..”

 

So I get up, go to get my lemon water from the kitchen, and I notice that the coffee is done.  So I close the lid, and move it to the servicing position, and then I return to my desk.  Sans lemon water.  Forgot the lemon water AGAIN.

A LOT of Plans Were Cancelled

I'll catch everyone up, eventually, but since it's been almost a year since I last wrote, I'm going to use this post as a chance to tell you what my UPCOMING plans are.

This blog is going to change formats, again.  It's going to be less about racing, and more about where my life evolves toward.  DON'T PANIC: we're still going racing.

I hung up the crown this year, essentially.  Victory lane is my favorite place to be, but this summer I wanted to run without representation and see where my legs take me.  I'll be hopefully getting involved in a LOT of motorsports promotion.  Will keep you posted.

Other than that, you're going to read the funny shit I think about.  Because that's what I feel like writing.  Hopefully I do it quite often.

Anyway.  Welcome to the new blog.

Cancel your plans-- we're going laughing.

We Are Canceling A Lot Of Plans

There are a lot of things in the world and my life that I feel lucky and blessed about. For starters, we didn't end up living on East Main Street, for example (which, among other faults, has terrible parking and is a bitch in the winter). I'm not hungry -involuntarily anyway.  I have the support and love of the racing community and I can pretty much go racing whenever I want.  I have close friends who would give me the shirt off their back if they thought I needed it.  I have the best family in the world. 

But a part of it that family is dying. For all of the things I'm lucky about, and blessed with, this is an awful stain on the white-hot amazingness of my life. 

It's becoming increasingly hard to accept that this beautiful ray of sunshine won't be with us forever, and likely not long at all. The love of my father's life, my second mother. I don't feel blessed that she's in pain and not long for our world.  I don't feel blessed that we are suddenly making preparations for something that wasn't supposed to happen for decades to come. I don't feel lucky that as she struggles for breath, dad's heart breaks a little more each moment. 

And I sit here next to her watching her sleep and I hope I never forget this. How hard this is and how amazing she is and I hope the reason why this is happening all becomes so clearly apparent and makes it less hard. 

I don't know what to say other than sitting here in the dark, crying my eyes out silently while I rub her back, has been oddly calming somehow. And I hope none of you ever have to feel this way. Ever. 

I love you, Arlene, and I am so lucky that we have had the years we did-- the beach trips, the concerts, the holidays, the milestones-- the highs were so good that I don't even remember the lows. I've learned a lot from the time we've spent in each other's lives and I wouldn't trade it for anything. And that's one thing I do feel blessed about. 

No regrets. Fight on.