Here Is Your Unsolicited Advice

Take this for what it's worth-- but I have tested this advice I'm about to give you and can tell you I'm 100% satisfied with the results.  Here's the story.

If you’ve been doing something that isn’t adding value to your life or your career, stop doing it.

For 5 years, I made the coffee in my office.  It was never part of my job description, none of my supervisors ever asked me to take on the responsibility, and I was never instructed to keep up with it.  But somewhere along the line, I decided to make the coffee.  Of my own volition and the kindness of my people-pleasing heart, anytime the coffee was emptied by another coworker who simply walked away, I would hop up from my desk and grind the beans, fill the filter, and brew the coffee. 

I Don’t.  Even.  Drink.  Coffee. Read that again.

One day this summer, someone in my office emptied BOTH coffee pots, and walked away.  On his way past my desk, he looked at me and said “Two dead soldiers over there…” and I hopped up from my desk (on auto-pilot) and made two pots of coffee.  Then I sat back down at my desk, appalled at what I had just done.  And that’s the last day I ever made coffee at my office.

No one had ever thanked me for making coffee, no one’s life had been drastically better for my efforts… perhaps the executives were slightly better served in the “convenience” department, but that’s about it.  I realized I’d been selflessly making coffee for an entire office, half of whom were at the very least ungrateful and at the worst were taking advantage of me.  There was no extra pay, there was no extra benefit, and there was no extra thanks.  And now, there was no extra fulfillment in it for me, because I noticed that it wasn’t even making people noticeably happier.  So I quit making the coffee. 

Know what happened?  Everything continued on exactly the same.  Nobody noticed that I didn’t make coffee anymore, nobody questioned me about it, and someone else stepped in and made the coffee when it was empty.   Life continued on for everyone, including me…. Except now my life is better because I don’t have to make the coffee.  I get to sit at my desk and not care if the coffee is empty.  Reminder: I don’t even drink coffee.

My advice to you?  Whatever your coffee is, stop doing it if it isn’t fulfilling you anymore.  Stop wasting your time and efforts.  It’s one thing to be kind to others, but it’s another to waste your energy on thankless tasks that are no longer bringing you joy.  Don’t cater to the needs of others at the expense of your own happiness.  I’m not saying to cut out all the kindness, you should always be kind, but for God’s sake, stop making the coffee.  I think you’ll find that your energy is better served nourishing yourself.  Let the coffee-drinkers make the coffee.