Dover Dreams - A NASCAR NIGHTMARE

Shitty Kitty went to her first NASCAR race!!! Well-- in my dream haha. 

It started out with all of the NASCAR teams going to Dover -- but the nationwide series race was NOT on the super speedway... It was at an underground location below the track and it didn't involve cars. 42 of nascars finest (including Aric Almorola, Austin AND Ty Dillon, KENNY WALLACE, and MORE) slithered on their bellies on a slippery concrete surface around poles and in large circles. Did I mention that grown men were slithering around on their bellies for a NASCAR race? I was losing it-- laughing. One of the crew chiefs came up to me and asked me what was so funny.  I told him, "maybe you should have had Dinger do just three more bicep curls on the right arm only so he would have a little more grip coming out of turn three!"  It was WEIRD. 

Then the nationwide "race" was over. I don't know who won. Then I was dressed in a beautiful, ornately decorated gown and I was riding in a parade to celebrate the wedding of a friend of mine who was royalty. I didn't expect to get to see her after the parade because she was so very famous and there were many guests. But as I arrived at the venue, I was seated right beside her. After the ceremony, Ryan Sparks took my hand and led me onto the dance floor and we twirled and danced and laughed and it was so freaking magical!  Then we all had to go to bed-- sprint cup series race was the next day and we needed our rest. 

The sprint cup race was normal and had cars on DIS. For some reason, I took my cat (her name is Shitty Kitty) and she sat there and watched the race with me!! Except sometimes, I would look down, and she would be like three rows closer to the track than me and I would have to go get her because she was in someone else's seat!! Finally the last time she snuck away, I went and got her and the race was almost over so we went back to the frat house where I was staying for the weekend. I put her in my camper and went to sleep. When I woke up, all these hot women in just tshirts were getting up and brushing their teeth and getting ready to leave. 

Dover weekend had come to an end, and it was a really really weird one. 

Do You Even Fall Classic, Bro?

It’s been a while, peeps, let me fill you in. 

 

We bought a house!!  WE is me and my BF, Finch.  He's mostly absent from these because he's not as "eat-sleep-breathe-racing" as me but here he is. Meet Finch! Little house on a flat lot on the north side.  WE love it.   So I’ve been very busy with moving and nesting and everything that comes with a new house…. That has been taking up my weekends.

 

And also if you haven’t noticed, the last half of the summer, the weather has been TERRIBLE.  I planned to be at Hummingbird Speedway like 3 weekends in a row and we got rained out every time.  Every time I want to go to Lernerville, it seems like I have Penn State tickets or a prior commitment otherwise.  BUT… finally… I am able to say with high confidence, that you should all cancel your plans because we are DEFINITELY going racing!!!

 

WHERE: McKean County Raceway, this Saturday, your favorite princess and her trusty sidekick aka my bestie aka Brenda Best Frienda aka princess assistant esquire extraordinaire aka KAYTLYN will be at MCR for the FALL CLASSIC!!  Ladies and gentlemen: this is a party.  Zuvy has put together a kick-butt weekend with festivities to match anyone’s preferences.  GoKarts hit the track at 4 on Saturday and then the big-time racing begins at 6.  Check him out on facebook or racestud for the full lineup of events that START ON FRIDAY.  I’ll see you bitches there on Saturday.

 

AND THEN… oh my goodness, I can’t WAIT to share with you some amazing news about another upcoming appearance, but that will just have to wait until it’s finalized.  And by then you’ll already have plans and you’ll have to CANCEL THEM TO GO RACING WITH US!!!

 

Okay.  So that’s the scoop on this weekend.  In other news, there are 29 more days until we leave for CHARLOTTE NC for the WORLD OF OUTLAWS WORLD FINALS at THE DIRT TRACK AT CHARLOTTE!!!!!   Just got my tickets in the mail yesterday, reservations are made in uncle Gerry’s camper in Tom Jones campground, appointments with Blount Motorsports and my traveling guitar have been tentatively penciled in, and I have some other special surprises on the way for me and Kaytlyn.  I ordered 600 1 oz jello shot cups so we can go mobile with whatever flavor we want, and I’m in a general state of bliss over the fact that it is less than a month away. 

 

You guys: at this time last year, I didn’t even know what I was in for.  And then I spent the weekend at the finals and… I saw Katie Todorow crowning around with champions and looking all hot and being an advocate for our beloved sport and… that’s why I got into the Ms Motorsports pageant to begin with.  And here I am, 10 months into my reign as Miss AARN and it’s coming to a swift close, and I’m about to experience arguably the best racing weekend of the year AS a dirt track trophy queen titleholder.  ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME?  Pinch me, I have GOT to be dreaming.  J

 

Okay I’m off to finalize plans, shake hands, and kiss babies.  JUST KIDDING – effective last week there will be no physical contact of any kind (including high fives and fist-bumping).  Air high fives only.  I will be back here before you know it with some excellent news about upcoming events.

 

Until then: I really do love you all.  You’re the best readers anyone could ask for and the best kingdom a dirt track trophy queen could hope to preside over.  Only make tentative plans because you know I’m going to ask you to cancel them—we’re going racing.

 

<3 Miss AARN